A friend of mine, who with her husband write a blog, posed an interesting question. If you could write a blog post based on a song, what song would you use to describe your life and why? It got me to thinking.

After careful consideration, I chose “How He Loves” by David Crowder Band. It is a song that has been present in my darkest time and my brightest.

Throughout my life I have made choices that sometimes where not in my best interest. These choices hurt not only me, but many others. Family and friends paid an ugly price because of my choices. Each time I vowed to do better only to relapse into those old habits and choices. I was sinking into a pit where the way out was becoming less and less apparent.

And then one day.

On that morning, I was at what I felt was the bottom of my existence. This day I felt as if I was in one of those movies where the silence takes over and the pictures of what one sees flies quickly across the screen. I could not handle this feeling. My chest felt like it was being crushed, weighed down by the fear, anxiety, and the tormenting guilt and pain I was carrying.

And then the song played.

There I was bending beneath the weight, but it wasn’t just any weight. I kept getting this sinking feeling that I needed to do something. My mind weighed heavy in thought. Bend, don’t break, but here I was breaking. Breaking by an affliction of my own doing.

And my own undoing, so I thought.

Writing has always been a cathartic exercise for me and this day was no different. I could always place into words what my brain was thinking and my heart was feeling. This night though changed me.

I find that when you put thoughts into words they become alive. It is no longer a thought but actual belief. How many times in life do we barter with God? Now, by writing our promises down, we have a contract with Him.

As my pencil glided across the page, “I will go where you lead me” appeared. I truly was unaware of the afflictions being eclipsed by Glory. I was not aware in that moment that those words meant moving over five hundred miles to my new home.

The process is not quick either. In the following days I was introduced to my wife. The picture of the rest of my life was now brushstrokes on a different canvas. I could feel His love blowing across my face with each breeze seamlessly weaving through the trees.

And oh, How He Loves Us.

For most, any move could be daunting. But if you were told that soon after you made that move that you would be told that you would have a chronic disabling disease, many would not go. I had no fears about what I was to encounter. I knew that He loved me and my needs would be provided.

I live in an area that has not one but three renowned centers that study, research, and treat people with Parkinson’s disease. I’ve received an assistance animal that helps me remain mobile every day from an organization that has made a difference for over six hundred people and canines.  I am loved and in love with a woman who fills me with joy, inspires me with hope, and sees that each day is my best day.

I don’t have time to think about the regrets of my life. I can only ask others for their forgiveness and forgive myself. I know that each day that the one choice I got right was accepting His love.

His grace is an ocean and we are all sinking, because of How He Loves Us ALL.